The Sight of the Martyr

For though I am alive as I write to you, still my real desire is to die. My love of this life has been crucified, and there is no yearning in me for any earthly thing. Rather within me is the living water which says deep inside me: "Come to the Father." I no longer take pleasure in perishable food or in the delights of this world I want only God's bread, which is the flesh of Jesus Christ, formed from the seed of David, and for drink I crave his blood, which is love that cannot perish.

--St. Ignatius of Antioch

When one begins to understand Christianity, truly to understand it, one is awestruck by the theme of love that permeates every aspect of its teaching and way of life. This theme of love is too often abused and classified by well meaning theologians as some sort of spineless, unmanly, ungodly, tolerant acquiescence to the way of destruction and lies. This turns our religion into little more than a 60's hippy song, and we start to wonder if it the true prophet of the faith should be John Lennon rather than Jesus Christ. In fact, the love which permeates Christianity is a love of truth, a love of righteousness, a love, in short, of God. This love seems purest in the heart of the martyr. Of course, there is nothing new or unique about one prepared to die for one's religion. In fact, we see horrible examples of this disposition everyday on the news, as fanatical terrorists enter their eternal state after leaving death and destruction in their wake. Eastern mystics will literally starve themselves to death as they seek nothingness, emptiness, and a complete loss of self. Yet, the Christian martyr is far different. The Christian martyr seeks not celestial virgins, obliteration of consciousness, or any such thing. He seeks love, divine love, a love that, while present in the state of the flesh, is somehow obscured and hidden by earthly desires. When once that fundamental, primary, and primal desire for survival is surrendered, the martyr often sees in full that which we only see in part. He attains to a state that is for us a dream. Calling to mind the experience of St. Stephen, it is as if their faith has already become sight.